If You Come Back
by B'Elanna Paris
Summary: Post- 'The Telling'. SV. Chapter 14! Please R & R
1. Chapter 1

Author: B'Elanna Paris

Summary: post-"The Telling".

Disclaimer: Alias and its characters belongs to ABC etc.

Notes: My post- telling story. Angsty. Feedback would be much appreciated. Inspired by Blue's song 'If You Come Back'.

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Chapter One

Two weeks. That is how long since I found that my life was ruined. Everybody has moved on, believing I was gone, dead. Since I returned from Hong Kong, I had a week of constant debriefings, medical exams and hypo-regression therapy- to no avail I still cannot remember anything.

I have been given a couple of weeks off. Barnett believed it was best, so that I could 'deal' with my feelings. The problem is I have dealt with everything, people have moved on and I must too. But where he is concerned I just can't. He gave up me, fell in love someone else, was he ever in love with me to begin with?

I have been staying with Will since I got back, at his apartment he bought after he got out of hospital. He told me he couldn't stand being at my old apartment because of what happened, so he sold it. Will put my things into storage and I have starting to sort through my stuff, getting rid of stuff which is not needed anymore, going through every box one by one. And that is when I came across it, in one of the larger packing boxes which contained alot my keepsakes; letters, photos and trinkets from past years.

It was an old shoebox, I opened it and in there were photos of me and him and a couple of trinkets from dates and days out we had had. There was not much, we were only together 3 months but we had already began intertwining our lives together. All I can do is stare at the pictures, remembering each place they were taken, each memory, remembering like it was a couple of weeks ago. That is all I have been doing for the past hour just sitting here staring at the photos.

And the it happens, I 'deal' with my feelings. My eyes to start to fill up with unshed tears, and then they begin to fall. I loved him so much, I never got a chance to tell him. I haven't seen since our initial debriefing after getting back from Hong Kong. He does not work for the CIA anymore, he told me he was working at a law firm.

Not waking up to him in the mornings, not having him hold me when I feel sad, just not having him here is making this whole ordeal even harder to handle.

I find myself picking up the phone, dialling his number, is it still the same?

"Michael Vaughn" I just want to hear his voice.

"Hello?" he says

I speak knowing he'll probably know its me. "Sorry, wrong number."

"Syd?" I hang up.

I lay back on the bed, closing my eyes as I feel more tears falling. I'm still gripping the phone. My thoughts are disturbed by the ringing of the phone, its him, I know. I shouldn't answer but I do.

"Hello?"

"Sydney, I knew it was you. Why did you.." I hang up and pull the main phone cord out the socket I don't want him to ring back. I slam the portable receiver back down.

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Vaughn sat at his desk in his office staring at his phone. Why had she rung him? He knew why she needed answers he thought and he needed to tell them. He hadn't seen her, he had decided he was going to go see her, at Will's place, well that is where he presumed she was staying. Will had become a friend over the last two years, their mutual love Sydney had made sure that they spoke every so often.

He decided to stop by and see her, he needed to explain everything. When he had arrived at her apartment that night nearly two years, he had discovered a trail of devastation leading to Syd's bedroom. He had rushed in there thinking it would be bad but what he found and didn't find was much much worse.

He had found Francie shot three times, dead on the floor near the windows, blood everywhere. There was a pool of blood opposite to this where the mirror used to stand. He had phoned the operations centre and Jack, they were there very quickly and with further investigation of the apartment he found Will in the bathtub, still alive.

The CIA in the first couple of weeks were optimistic that they would find Sydney, but the leads that they had discovered lead to nothing. After two months the CIA began to scale down the operation to find her presuming she was dead, and finally after 6 and half months, they just put her case on the shelf. The case was still active but nothing was done unless they found a new lead.

He tried to hold out hope, even after the shelved her case. But when he went on an unsanctioned mission which had come about from a back channel lead. Kendall had suspended him for a month from the CIA. Vaughn didn't want to return after that, he just couldn't see why it was worth it anymore so he quit.

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As he drove to Will's apartment, he thought about his wife, she did not know who Sydney was only that he had lost someone when she met him. All he had felt the past couple of weeks was more and more guilt over the situation. Ever since he had got back all he could think of was Sydney, but his mind had always been on Sydney, even the day he got married. He felt guilty for not waiting for her, for not being there for her now. Guilty for comparing his wife and Sydney. Guilty for thinking about her when he should be thinking about his wife.

He arrived at Will's house and parked across the road, he still wasn't sure if he wanted to go in. Vaughn saw the door to the apartment open, it was Sydney, had she seen him? No, she was not even looking in his direction. She was wearing some sweat pants, a t-shirt and a coat which she pulled tighter around her as she walked down the path to the sidewalk.

Sydney began walking down the street away from him. He decided to follow her. As she was disappearing out of sight, he started his car and drove up behind, he kept doing this until she stopped a couple of blocks away from the apartment, she was waiting at a bus stop.

The next bus came along and she stepped onboard, he followed the bus until she got off and she waited for another bus and boarded that. He followed the bus all the way to Santa Monica pier where she got off. She began walking in the direction the pier.

Vaughn parked his car up and got out to follow her.


	2. Chapter 2

Author: B'Elanna Paris

Summary: post-"The Telling".

Disclaimer: Alias and its characters belongs to ABC etc.

Notes: My post- telling story. Angsty. Feedback would be much appreciated. Inspired by Blue's song 'If You Come Back'.

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Chapter 2

The sea air was refreshing, better than being stuck in that apartment any longer, I needed to get out of there, I needed space. I have come because I have always found this place calming, he saved me once.

I felt his presence before he stood next me, we stood in the same spot where we had stood nearly two years, no, it was four years ago.

"I've come to explain." he said. _I don't need your explanations, I need you._

"No, you haven't, you have come to tell me how were lost without, met her and then you want me to accept it so you don't feel so guilty."

I felt so guilty for moving from Danny, I thought I should never move on but I did. But I always felt more guilty because I was more in love Vaughn than I was with Danny, if that is even possible.

"That's not why.... stop over analyzing why I am here." I cut him off.

"Go back to you wife, Michael." I walked away from him over to the bench on the other side of the pier and sat down.

After a moment, he followed and stood in front of me.

"Why did you just do that?" he asked.

"Because I wanted to sit down."

"No, you know what I mean, call me Michael?"

"That's your name."

"Don't patronize me Syd, you hardly ever called me Michael. You said because you wanted me to see what domestic life I'm missing with you, like normal people."

"Now, who's over analyzing!" I stand up and push past him to walk off, but he grabs my arm.

"Syd, just let me explain." he shouted. A couple of people walking on the pier turned around at the his shouting but they ignored and carried on walking.

"Explain what? That you gave up on me and fell in love with someone else," she said trying to keep her voice under control.

"No, you don't understa..." I cut him off.

"I do. Just go home back to your wife!" I screamed. I tried to push his hand off me arm, but in response, he grabbed both my arms and said:

"Your are not going anywhere until you let me explain!"

Vaughn stood there for a minute, trying to regain his composure, he then spoke up looking at me for, I saw the pain in his face, I couldn't look so I bowed my head.

Why is he saying these things, he would never leave his wife for me, he is a man of honour he would never....

"Sydney, I never stopped loving you, just because you...... died. I still.... your still the first thing I think about in the mornings and the last thing before I got to sleep." I took a quick glance at him, he's in so much pain, I look away again.

"Vaughn....." The tears begin to form again.

"No, listen, I..."

"Look, I don't want to know." With that I break free from his grip and turn to walk away, he grabs me again. The tears begin falling again.

He turns me around, "Sydney, I still love you, I can't stop loving you." _I love you too._

"Vaughn, you can't say this, you have a wife, just leave me alone."

"I can't leave, I don't want to go back." _I want you to stay with me_.

"You have to. Leave me to get on with my life."

Vaughn just stood there, I just stood there unable to move. I spoke knowing that I just can't have another confrontation like this again.

"I was suppose to be you wife," I say whispering, "I was suppose have your children, greet you when you can came home from work, do everything a wife is suppose to."

Both our eyes met, my tears were still running down my face.

"I wanted you to be.... I still want you to be, we didn't even make it to Santa Barbara." _I can never be with him._

"No, we didn't." I smiled at him, squeezed his hand and left.

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	3. Chapter 3

Author: B'Elanna Paris

Summary: post-"The Telling".

Disclaimer: Alias and its characters belongs to ABC etc.

Notes: My post- telling story. Angsty. Feedback would be much appreciated. Inspired by Blue's song 'If You Come Back'.

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Chapter Three

That was two days ago. That's why I'm here in Santa Barbara. I needed to get out of Los Angeles. I told Will when I got home that night, about what had happened, he just kept telling me to stay out of Vaughn's way, to let him get on with his life and that's what I'm planning to do.

I booked myself into a hotel. Will didn't want me to go, he didn't think I should be alone in my state. I plan on going to all the places that Vaughn and I were suppose to visit. I need closure.

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Will sat in his apartment staring at the television set, he was really worried about Sydney. Her meeting with Vaughn a couple days ago had really shook her up. Later that night, he walked past her room and he could hear her sobbing. His thoughts were interrupted by the doorbell. Will got up to open the door- it was Vaughn.

"Where is she?" he asked.

"She's...... look, Mike, just leave her alone, okay. That talk you guys had the other day really upset her."

The way she had acted, it was worse then how she coped with mourning for Danny. I shouldn't have let her go off on her own.

"I just want to talk to her, you of all people should understand that," he stated matter of factly.

"Why?" _I was curious._

"I just need to talk to her, is she in?" I shake my head. "When will she be back then?"

Sydney hadn't told me much about her conversation with Vaughn, only that they both had acknowledged that they wished things had been different and some other stuff she didn't want to elaborate on.

"She still loves you." I state.

Vaughn looked down at his hands, avoiding my gaze. His eyes come up to meet my mine.

"And I still love her. She's had two weeks to get use to what's happened but I have had two years, and I'm still not over her, I haven't been able to stop myself, hide, bury my feelings or whatever the hell I am suppose to do in this situation."

"She's gone to Santa Barbara, I don't know how long for."

"Oh..." Vaughn turns away and begins to walk down the steps leading up to my apartment.

I shout after him, "Do you want the address to the hotel?"

They still have things to sort out, she needs to close this chapter in her life.

Vaughn turns around, "Ok, maybe.... I could book myself in there as well."

"Won't your wife ask questions as to where you're going?"

That is when I see it, Vaughn's whole expression changes. He lets out a small sarcastic laugh, "I don't think she'll care."

Will had only met Vaughn's wife, Jessica, at the reception after their wedding. He had been invited to the wedding itself, but had decided not to go. He had told Mike that he thought he was moving on to fast, getting married to fast. The two of them had only 'dating' for nearly two months before he proposed, a month and half later they were married. Only weeks, before the proposal Vaughn had confessed to Will, that this woman was a friend and nothing more. Adding he wouldn't date because he wasn't ready to move on and that he didn't feel a connection with her.

"What happened?"

Another laugh escaped his lips, "Believe me you really don't want to know."

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After getting the address from Will, I walked back to my car and drove back to my place to get some clothes and then I was going to go to Santa Barbara. His wife wouldn't be there, after what had been said between them in the last two days.

*Flashback*

I walked into his house after his conversation with Sydney at the pier. He just wanted to go to sleep and then maybe he could try to forget about her, that was if he could. But it never was going to be that simple. All of the lights were off in the house, my wife, Jessica had obviously gone to bed. I walked into the kitchen, I hadn't ate anything since I left the office at 6.00 to go to Will's apartment. The clock on the microwave read: 11.49pm, I have been gone along time. I had just sat on the bench at the pier since Sydney had left, needing to think but trying not to think.

I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and started ruggmaging through the contents to find something to eat. I found a couple of small sausage rolls and some left over slices of turkey. As I sat at the counter in the kitchen finishing off my meal, I put my plate in the sink and began drinking my water.

"Michael, where have you been?" Jessica asked through her yawning.

"I had reports to finish off at work, there is a big case that we are handling tomorrow."

"Don't lie, I rang your work at 6.30, they said you had gone home." _She's keeping tabs on me again? She doesn't trust me and maybe she shouldn't._

"I went to see a couple of friends." _In part the truth._

"You could have called. Which friends? Where do they live?"

"I don't have to tell you everything, Jessica!" I shouted.

"Michael, I'm just worried about you, you've been acting strange for a couple of weeks now, ever since you got back from your trip to Hong Kong."

And that is when I lost it, I throw the open bottle of water at floor next to her feet. "Look, Jessica I don't need to talk to you, do you ever shut up?" I stormed out of the kitchen, into the study and slammed the door. _She'll never understand._

"Michael, get back now." I heard her shout, a couple minutes later I heard her run up the stairs.

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Next morning, she found me a sleep in the study chair with a open box which contained pictures of Sydney and I. Photographs of us at a King's game we has attended, others from days out we had had.

I woke up to find Jessica looking through the photos, picking some up for closer inspection, a look of disbelief on her face, examining them closely.

"Don't touch them." Isaid grabbing the photos from her hands.

"I don't understand.... who is she? I.." She saw the look on my face, and immediately knew.

"This is her isn't it? Oh my god, is this some kind on anniversary for you two, is that why you have been acting strange these past couple of weeks?"

She rests her hand on my shoulder, thinking I felt that was comforting, from her.

I shake my head, "Jessica you'll never understand."

"Yes, I do you are obviously grieving over this woman it's a natural process, Michael."

"It.. she, Jessica you don't understand." I stood up and walked out the room. I couldn't stand it anymore, all her questioning, I just wanted Sydney but _I_ was married to Jessica.

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That evening I came home from work, Jessica was in the living room, sitting on the sofa. She stood up as I moved through the room to go to the study, I really didn't want to speak to her.

"Michael, we really need to discuss things. I need you to tell me what's wrong?" She asked in a very calm voice it wasn't to stay that way for long.

"I told you..."

"Don't give me that Michael, I want the truth!" She screamed.

"You want the truth, huh?" I screamed as well.

"Yes!"

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TBC...............................


	4. Chapter 4

Thank You for the reviews!! Please keep reviewing!

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Chapter Four

As I drove to Santa Barbara, I couldn't help but replay all of mine and Sydney's moments together. Our proper first date and how we never did get around to eating that meal, our ice hockey lessons and the times we would just lay in bed. I had plans for the future with Sydney, plans of marriage, a couple of kids, I even knew what house I wanted to buy with her.

I stopped and asked directions to the hotel where Sydney was staying, when I finally arrived there it was nearly 10 o'clock at night. I pulled my bags out of the back seat of my car and went to the reception area of the hotel, to book in. I phoned on my way so they had reserved a room for me.

"Sir, there is your key, your room number is 17. Your room is on the ground floor, just turn right out of here, it is the second from the end," the receptionist said, as she handed me the key to my room.

"Thanks," I said, "I was wondering if you help me, my friend is staying but I've forgotten her room number, her name is Sydney Bristow." The receptionist looked at me with an odd expression, I ran my hand through my hair, her staring was making me nervous, and that is when I realised I _still_ had my wedding ring on.

"Sorry Sir, but we have a policy of not disclosing the names or the room numbers of people who are staying here. But," she said glancing down at my left hand with the wedding ring on it, "what did you say the name was again?"

"Sydney Bristow" She looks at her computer.

"Yes, she's in room 6, that is on the ground floor also, just take a left turn instead of a right out of here." _She probably thinks I'm having an affair, it's very close to the truth, it may even be the truth._

"Thank You."

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I picked up my bags and go to find my room. I enter my room, dump my bags and go and sit on the bed. I put my head in hands, what exactly I'm I going to say to her? I hadn't even thought about it properly, I got to the hello part and no further. I look down at my hands, I should start by taking my ring off. I slip it off and put it in on the bedside table.

After a couple of minutes, I get up and head to the door making sure my key is in my pocket, if I'm not ready now to see her I never will be. I walk down to her room, I stand at the door for a couple of minutes and then I knock. The door slowly creeps open to reveal Sydney dressed in a baggy t-shirt and tracksuit bottoms. It is the most beautiful sight I've ever seen for a while, well two days anyway.

"Why are you here?" She asks with shock in her voice.

"Sydney, I..." I really should have thought out this conversation.

At that moment a couple walk past me who were going back to their room. Sydney grabs my arm and pulls me in her room, "Inside, I don't want people watching us like last time." _Like at the pier_.

She closes the door, and turns around to face me, "I asked why are you here?"

"I need to explain... tell you."

"We've already had this conversation, just go home, back to your wife."

"I can't we've split up."

Sydney was a little shocked at this, "Why?" But before I could answer, "Because of me, isn't it?"

"Sydney, you.... it.. our marriage has been heading that way for..."_ I was wrong to marry, to move on._

"What? You've only been married a couple months, how can it have been heading for, I.. this is too much." Sydney grabs the key off the table and runs out the door.

I go after her, "Syd!" I shout.

She turns around, "Don't come after me." I let her go off.

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I found myself running from the love of my life. I didn't know where I was going at first, but then I decided to go to the beach it was only a couple of minutes from the hotel.

Why is he doing this? He's broken up with his wife because of me. My heart is telling me that now is my chance; he needs me, he loves me. But my head is telling me that this is some quick reflex action to the conversation we had a couple of days ago and he'll realise his mistake and go back to her. God knows what his wife thinks.

I reach the beach, sit down pulling my knees up to my chest and stare out into the ocean. We were suppose to come here. I had imagined that he would have brought me down here after a romantic meal and we would have just strolled long the beach, trying to be normal.

The tears began to fall, he was making this harder on me, he doesn't want me, he wants a normal life, he'll realise his mistake. If I had stayed 'dead', he would have never split from his wife, I've messed his life up. If I had not disappeared two years ago, Vaughn and I would probably be married by now, I would have also left the CIA, whatever my mother or Sloane was up to so that I could have a normal life with him, the house with the white picket fence, the children playing in the garden.

I felt his presence behind me. How do I always feel his presence? He then sits next me, I push myself up to leave but he grabs my hand and I'm at his mercy.

"Don't go." That is all he says. For five minutes and we both enjoy the view, it feels like old times, but you can never go back. He breaks the silence.

"I was gonna bring here," he said. _We would have made love on the beach._

"It's my fault..... your marriage broke up." _He blames me, I know it._

"Syd..."

"Tell me what happened." _I needed to know._

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*Flashback*

"You want the truth, huh?" I screamed as well.

"Yes!"

I suddenly calmed down, this is going to be difficult for her, "You better sit down."

"No, just tell me what's been going on." She, too, had calmed down, her voice pleading with me.

There is no easy way to tell her this, "Sydney, she didn't die she's.." She cut me off.

"What? When I met you said that your girlfriend, Sydney, had died, how can she be...... alive?"

"We all... we presumed she was dead, it was the only logical explanation as to why...."

"You told me she was dead! Where did she go?" Jessica suddenly realised, "She's back?"

"Yes." I state simply.

There was a silence between us for a couple of minutes, she broke the silence, "Michael, I know this must be a very confusing time for you now she's back. But I'm sure that she understands that you are now married and have responsibilities here."

"I don't love you, Jessica." _I love Sydney._

"Michael, this is ridiculous, you are just a little confused with feelings right now, her coming back is a big shock to your system, its..." She walks over me and attempts to put her arm around. I push her away. _I don't need your comfort._

"Jessica, will you just listen, I don't love you... I married you in a futile attempt to move on... to forget her." _But Sydney always had my heart and always will._

"Michael, listen to yourself, we're going through a rough patch we can work this out."

"No, no, no, we're over, Jessica." I shout.

"What? Your gonna just run back into her arms?"

"If she'll take me."

She stood there a moment contemplating what I had said, maybe she will understand. She began to walk towards the staircase, as she reached the bottom of the stairs she turned around and said;

"Michael, I going to go to my sister's. You need space and I'm going to give it to you. Once you have realised that your feelings are here with me and stop chasing this fantasy, ring me, the number is in the address book." _Chasing a fantasy? I am chasing the woman I love._

"We're over, Jessica, can't you see that."

"No, Michael, you'll realise soon that you've made a mistake, you're confused." With that she went up the stairs to pack.

__

*End Flashback*

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"After that I immediately left the house to go to see you at Will's house," he said. Obviously, Will told him where I was.

"So, it was me who split your marriage up." I said through my sobs.

"I don't love her, Sydney I want you back."

"I.. you.." It was becoming difficult to speak again. Vaughn moves from the spot where he was sitting to in front of me. He places both of his hands on my tear stained cheeks and wipes away my tears with his thumbs.

"I thought about this scene over and over in my head, when you went missing, how I would find you and I would just hold you and never let go." The raw emotion in his voice forced me to look up and into his eyes.

"I just want my life back, Michael." I flung myself into his arms and held on for dear life. I cried into his shoulder. I began to shiver and he pushed me back to look at me.

"You're shivering."

I just nodded my head.

"I should get you back to the hotel. We can talk more there."_ I don't feel like talking I just want him just to hold me._

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TBC............


	5. Chapter 5

Thank for the reviews. PLEASE KEEP REVIEWING!! There is a prequel to this story called 'Blackouts' just check my profile link were links to all my stories are!!

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Chapter 5

We slowly walked back to the hotel, I have my arm securely wrapped around her, to protect her, to stop her shivering, to let her know I love her. When we got back to the room, she pulled the key out of her pocket and opened the door she walked over to the bed and sat down. I closed the door and just stood there looking at her, she looks so weak and fragile. She was avoiding my gaze, I took a step towards her and she pushed herself further on to the bed and lay down. She was tired, maybe we should talk about this tomorrow.

"I just want to sleep now, can we..."

"We can talk tomorrow." _Did she want me to stay or not? _I began to turn back to the door to go.

"Stay," she said, I turned around and she was indicating the side of the bed next to her, "with me."

"Are you sure?" she nodded.

I climbed upon the bed and lay down next to her. I switched the light off at the switch next to the bed. I didn't want to go to sleep just yet, Sydney turned slightly and grabbed my arm and brought it down so it was wrapped around her. As sleep over took her, I just lay there in the dark breathing her in, taking in her scent, I don't know how I survived those two years. I never thought I would be able to have her in my arms again, to just watch her sleep.

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I woke up with wrapped in Vaughn's arms, I feel so safe. I move slightly to look at the watch that I still had on, it was 8.45am. Now that I was awake, I knew I wasn't going to go back to sleep so I thought the best thing would be take a shower, so carefully without waking Vaughn up I released his arms. I went to my bag I had brought with me and took out a my toiletries' bag. Just as I entered the bathroom, I turned around to look at his sleeping form, he has still got his suit on and its all creased.

We are going to be having _that_ talk soon, I am not sure what I am going to say except that I want him back. But there are so many doubts and questions in my mind, I just don't know where to start.

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I woke up to the noise of the shower running and some people chatting outside the room. For a moment I panic, she's not there, but then I realise she is in the shower. It has been a common feeling in the past two years, just that split second between you sleeping and being awake, everything would be fine, she'd be there. I would then realise the nightmare that had become life since she had disappeared.

I heard the shower stop, a moment later Sydney appears from the bathroom wearing just a white towel wrapped around her. Her hair was still dripping wet, she stared at me noticing that I was staring back.

"Oh, your awake, I'll just change into something more comfortable." She walked over to her overnight bag and just pulled out some clothes and headed back to the bathroom.

We are going to have to talk, I want her back so badly. Sydney emerged from the bathroom, wearing a pair of grey sweats and white tank top, she was still drying hair in a towel. She slowly walked over to the bed and sat down. I pushed myself up to a sitting position and we stared at each other for a moment before she said;

"I'm ready to talk" She stated.

"Alright, where do..." she cut me off.

"But, before we do, I want you to know at anytime, for whatever reason," she says avoiding my gaze, "you feel you've made a mistake by being here, you feel uncomfortable being here, you can leave, no questions asked."

"Sydney..."

"No, Vaughn I mean it." Our eyes meet and her eyes tell me to just accept what she had said.

"I want to know," she began, "why did you marry her, if you don't love her?"

"I...because I was trying to move on, survive, I was trying to forget you. I figured that if I could do that.... maybe it might stop hurting so much, that if I could get you off my mind, I would stop loving you so I could try and love someone else. But obviously that didn't work."

"Maybe you could have moved, if I hadn't come back to mess your life up again." She said sarcastically.

"God, Sydney, you could never mess my life up, you're the reason why I'm....."

"No, no, no, " she throw her hands up in the air, "I don't believe you."

I grabbed her hands and made her focus on me. Why doesn't she believe me? I could never have moved on in my heart, even though I thought there was a slim chance I would ever have seen her again, I still held on to that hope. I was barely surviving when she came back, if she hadn't come back, I don't know if I could have survived.

"Sydney.... believe that I love you, believe me that you are the best thing that ever happened to me. When you disappeared, I didn't know what to do, you are my life."

Her eyes had started to fill up with tears, she spoke, "I.... it is so difficult. I don't even know where I was for those two years, everything feels so distant. It feels like I don't belong in anyone's lives anymore, that I don't have the right to belong."

Weiss had kept me up to date on Sydney's progress, although he wasn't suppose to. He had told me that her regression therapy had not worked and she couldn't remember anything. I looked into her eyes; she was scared, afraid that no one could accept her, that people pitied her because of her current situation. I wanted to know where she had been, it had been like she had disappeared off the face of the earth.

"Syd, maybe you need time to get use to yourself being back, and then maybe you may remember," I said, "I swear Syd we will find out where you were and we will..." she cut me off.

"Vaughn, the CIA can handle that."

"Sorry, it's difficult to break old habits."

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We spoke for over an hour, about everything and nothing. It felt like old times at some points. He told me why he quit the CIA and about how everyone had coped when I went missing. We also talked about us and all the small things that had happened in the past two years while I was gone. After my stomach loudly rumbled interrupting our conversation, we decided to go get something to eat. He has gone back to his room, to change into some clean clothes.

A knock came at the door, it was Vaughn. He was wearing some jeans with a navy t-shirt. We took his car and drove until we saw a McDonalds and we decided just to have breakfast there, nothing fancy.

We were finishing off our meal, I realised for the whole time of leaving the hotel to now I hadn't thought about what had happened to me in the past two years and everything else.

"Hey, do you want to go for a 'sightseeing trip' around Santa Barbara, you know as we never actually made it here?" He asked.

This caught me by surprise, I thought that may be he would take me back to Los Angeles.

"If it's a bad idea just say..."

"No, it's a great idea." I said drinking the reminder of my coffee.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I convinced Vaughn, that our first stop should be the zoo. At lunchtime, we made our way to the beach where we sat and ate our sandwiches we had bought. After an afternoon of shopping, we decided to call it a day and find somewhere to eat.

"How about La Superica?" He asked.

"Yeah." _He wanted to take me there before, why not now?_

We went on to have a lovely dinner meal, just relaxing in each other's company. I didn't feel like my life was the complete wreck that it was.

As we arrived back at the hotel, Vaughn walked me back to my room. We had decided earlier this morning to take things slow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Flashback*

"Sorry, it's difficult to break old habits." He began to lean into me for kiss.

"Vaughn, no," I said pulling back, "what makes you think this relationship will work, after everything that has happened?"

"Sydney, we're great together, we were before and we can be now."

"As much as you pretend like nothing has changed, it has. Things can never be..."

"The same." he said finishing off her sentence. "I know things can never be the way they were, but Syd, I love you too much to let you go again. Give us a try."

One look into Vaughn's made up her mind. "Ok, I want to take this slowly, I don't want to rush into anything."

*End Flashback*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We arrived at my room, "Well," he said leaning into to kiss me, "I will see you..."

"No."

"No?" He questions.

"I want you to stay with me tonight." I asked. _I just need to know he's there._

"Of course."

We entered the room in silence. I got undressed and he did too, we climbed into bed. His arms encircled me, and I fall asleep.

I find myself strapped to a bed in what seems to be some medical lab. I can hear a couple of people approaching from behind me, they come around in front of me. It is Sloane and some man in a white doctor's coat I have never seen before.

"How long will this take, today?" Sloane asked the man.

"I'd say around two hours or so." The man said, looking for something in the cabinet on to the left.

I try to speak but nothing seems to be coming out.

"I will tend to her wound first and then begin the experiment."

Sloane just nods and walks off behind me to what I can only presume is the door. "Make sure she remembers nothing. She must believed she blacked out again."

"Of course, Sir, my patients never remember anything."

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TBC...................


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Thank you for reviews!! Please keep reviewing. If this story sticks to my plan (which I cannot guarantee) there is going to be lots of angst but hopefully everything will turn out alright in the end or maybe it won't. 

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Chapter 6

I woke up with a start, sitting up in bed, my heart pounding in my chest, breathing heavily, taking in each breath like it was my last. I turned to notice Vaughn, sleeping soundly next to me. I don't want to wake him up.

Was it just a dream? Or was it something I had experienced while I was missing? How do you know when something like this is real?

After deliberating a moment, I decide to wake him up, if I tell him in the morning he'll ask me why I didn't wake him up to begin with. I shake him slightly, "Vaughn?"

He slowly opens his eyes, rubbing them, "Syd? Is something," he yawns, "wrong?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I see the look on her face, one of confusion and fear. I immediately sit up and rest my hand on her cheek. I am wide awake now.

"Sydney, what's wrong?" I say, my voice full of concern. I can feel she is quite warm, maybe she is coming down with something.

"I.... I had a dream," she stutters, "Sloane was there, I was.... in some medical lab..." I pulled her into my arms as she began to cry.

That man, he has a lot to answer for, he has ruined her life. If he had something to do with her disappearance, which I suspect that he has, I swear to God I am going to find him, and...... my thoughts are interrupted.

"Vaughn? What should we do?" She says pulling out of my embrace to look at me. "Should we ring the CIA now?" A questioning look on her face, as she wipes away her tears.

"I think we should wait until morning." _It could be just a dream, right?_

"I suppose it could be just a dream..." She was cut off by the phone in the room ringing.

I lean over to the bedside table and pick up the phone. Who would be ringing at this time in a morning?

"Hello?"

The voice hesitated for a moment. "Mike? What are you doing... never mind. Where's Sydney?" It was Eric.

"A hello would be nice. Why?" I am slightly annoyed at his tone of voice.

"We need Sydney to come back to LA, Sloane has resurfaced. And..... you better come too, Mike."

Eric hung up the phone. As I put the phone down, Syd noticed the expression on my face.

"Who was that? What is it?" She questioned.

"We have got to go back to LA, it was Eric he said that Sloane has resurfaced."

"What?" She gasped covering her mouth with her hand. Tears begin to flow down her cheeks, again. I put my arm around her. Sloane had disappeared at the same time Sydney had gone missing, so it was not a stretch of the imagination to assume Sloane had taken Sydney.

"He.. he.. my dream can't have been a coincidence it's too much... he's ruined my life."

We got up off the bed, got dressed and began to pack our stuff up. I went back to my room to pack up my belongings. I finished packing and noticed that my wedding ring was still on the bedside table, I slipped it into the side pocket of my holdall. I am with Sydney now.

I took my belongings and put them in my car. I am thankful Sydney did not drive here and that she had taken the train because she is in no fit state to drive back to LA.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hate him, he has ruined my life and now he is back to ruin it even more. I know Sloane is involved in my disappearance, I have this gut feeling. He has destroyed my life; had Danny killed, Francie killed, Will almost did not survive and nearly destroyed my relationship with Vaughn. I wouldn't be surprised if he has come back to destroy every piece of happiness I still have.

As I pack my toiletry bag away and my other stuff back into my overnight bag, I notice the pack of photographs I had brought with me. Most of the photos are of me and Vaughn. My crying had subsided but it comes back suddenly with full force, Vaughn is one of my last shreds of happiness left. Sloane may try and use him to get me, may hurt him, may kill him.

I collapse to the floor sobbing uncontrollably. Just then Vaughn walked back into the room. He came over to me, and took me in his arms.

"Sydney, shhhh," he says stroking my hair, trying to console me. He instinctively knew what was wrong, that I was afraid Sloane was going to...

"I am not going to let him hurt you." _But he'll hurt you._

Just then I knew what I had to do. I had to make sure that Vaughn was no where near me, that I had to make Sloane believe that I still hadn't got feelings for him, so that he wouldn't hurt him. The question was how was I going to tell Vaughn, that I didn't want to see him anymore and would my heart let me betray my true feelings for him?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She stopped crying after about five minutes, we then gathered up her things and got in the car and began driving back. She was silent for most of the trip back to Los Angeles. We headed straight for the Joint Task Force Centre. We were greeted by Weiss, Jack and Kendall. I had not been in here since the debriefing after arriving back from Hong Kong and it had been a long time before that.

"Where have you been Agent Bristow?" Kendall asked. "And what are you doing here,_ Mister _Vaughn?"

I could see that Sydney was about to explode at Kendall but I gently grabbed her arm to stop her, when Weiss interrupted for us.

"Sir, I thought that Mister Vaughn could help. He has extensive knowledge of Agent Bristow's case and I thought...." Kendall cut him off.

"He is not part of this agency any longer..." Jack interrupted Kendall.

"I agree Agent Weiss, he could be a useful asset."

"Jack," Kendall shouted, causing most of the operations centre personnel to turn to look at them, "you cannot be serious about this. I would like a word with you Jack." Kendall marched into the briefing room with Jack.

"Sorry about that. So...." Weiss said. He indicated he wanted to talk to me. So I guided Sydney to the nearest chair, I put my hand on her cheek, slowly stroking with my thumb.

"You going to be alright while I talk to Eric?" She responded by nodding.

I walked over to where Weiss was standing on the opposite set of desks. I put my hands in my jeans pockets waiting for him to say something. He kept looking back and forth between me and Sydney.

"Ok," he finally said, "what happened? Why where you..." I cut him off.

"I left her. I told her our marriage was a mistake."

Weiss raised his eyebrows, "Really, you left that evil-psychopath-stalker-girl, good on ya."

I rolled my eyes, "She wasn't that bad."

"Oh come on, why the hell did she the first time she met you, and may I add she hadn't even spoken to you before she followed you all the way home to ask whether you would be at the coffee shop the next day?" _That was weird, but.... _Weiss continued, "I mean who would not want _me, _to come to their wedding?"

What? "You said that you didn't want to come because I was and I quote 'throwing my life away'."

"Well, there was that, too. Her constant death glares she gave me after she told me, that I would ruin her dream wedding, for what reason I'm not sure, persuaded me not to go."

Just at that moment, Jack and Kendall emerged from the briefing room. They both walked over to me and Weiss, "Mister Vaughn, you will have temporary access and you can be a useful asset to us for the moment." Kendall announced.

Turning to Sydney sitting down Kendall said, "Agent Bristow, Weiss, Jack, Vaughn we have a meeting." Gesturing towards the briefing room.

Sydney stands up, and we all walk into together. Sydney sits next to me while Weiss and Jack, sit at opposite sides of the table.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I sit next to Vaughn. I cannot believe he is willing getting back into this life again, he is doing it for me, he is going to get hurt, I need to...

"Sloane has resurfaced," Kendall begins the meeting, "boarding a plane in Hong Kong approximately 12 hours ago, and landing in Taipei, thereafter."

Jack takes over, "Our intel indicates that Sloane has met already with two prominent terrorists groups in Hong Kong and is meeting with another one in Taipei as we speak. We have several leads on the Sloane's hideaway in Hong Kong, one of his new associates seems to be this man."

Jack presses a button on the remote to show a man, who looks to be in his mid-30s on the screens in front of them. "His name is Christopher MacKay. He was spotted with Sloane at Hong Kong International Airport however he stayed in Hong Kong."

I look at the picture of the man who looks vaguely familiar and so does the name. I try to recall whether I had run into him on one of my missions for SD-6 but I don't seem able to put my finger on it.

"Sir," Vaughn interrupts, "Sydney had a dream about, what she believed was being in Sloane's custody."

I explain what happened in my dream, and Kendall orders me to another regression therapy session. Not after ordering myself, Vaughn and Weiss on a mission to find Sloane's hideout in Hong Kong and retrieve any information.

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TBC..........................


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank You for the Reviews!!!! PLEASE keep reviewing!!!**

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Chapter 7

I steal a look at Vaughn's face, he is angry. He had told Kendall that he did not think I was ready or in any fit state to go on a mission. However, Kendall had won this time but not after a huge sparring match in the briefing room.

We are about half an hour into our flight to Hong Kong, and Vaughn is still fuming. Weiss gave up a couple of minutes ago trying to lighten the mood with his jokes- I just think he made him more angry. I have been sitting here reading the report about Sloane reappearance and his associate Christopher MacKay- he seems so familiar.

Vaughn gets up and begins to walk to the front of plane to the next cabin, announcing, "I going to see if they have got any food."

Weiss comes and sits next to me, "So, you and Mike are back to.." He is always so curious.

"What did he tell you?" I say raising my eyebrows.

"Oh, just that he has left that weird wife of his."

I laugh, "You know, you don't have to say that for my benefit."

"I'm not, she's weird. So, are you and Mike back.."

"Sort of, yes." But not for long, until Sloane is dead and buried, I cannot risk anyone hurting Vaughn to get to me, I have to....

"Sort of?" Weiss interrupted my thoughts, "What the hell does that mean?"

"Things have changed, we are taking things slow, things can never be how they were."

Weiss then turns very serious, "Look, Syd don't mess him around he has been through enough in the past two years without you.." I cut him off.

"What was he like... I mean how did he cope when I was gone?" I whispered. Now I had asked the question, I wasn't sure if I wanted to know the answer.

"Short answer, he didn't." Weiss said, I thought that was all he was going to say until I saw him opening his mouth ready to speak, I quickly changed the subject.

"Vaughn's been gone along time for..." I trailed off.

"He'll probably be chatting to the other agents." Weiss says seeming taking no notice of my attempts to change the subject.

"Anyway, where was I?" He paused recalling, "Yeah, well he coped at the beginning he was at the JTF all time, searching for leads. I mean day and night, I don't think he went home. Kendall had to order him get some rest, because he was literally falling on his feet because of the lack of sleep. After they shelved your case," he pauses searching my face, I gesture for him to continue, "Mike, well he fought hard, we all did for your case not be shelved. And then...." He stopped.

"Then what?" I was curious now.

"Well, he carried on searching for you, he went on a unsanctioned mission, he didn't find anything but it was enough for Kendall to suspend for a month."

"What?" I shouted, "I thought he left the CIA of his own...."

"He did, after the suspension he just sort of just gave up. I mean he loves you Syd, he started believe you were dead when all the leads dried up. After his suspension, he was stuck in his apartment all the time... drinking, just being depressed. When I went round there to see how he was the place just stank of booze, it...." We were interrupted, it was Vaughn with a whole load of sandwiches, drinks and crisps bundled in his arms.

"Hey I got some food," he seemed to have cheered up a bit, "why do you two look so serious?"

"No reason." I say. Thankfully, he does not question any further.

"Hey, is that a double BLT sandwich I see," Weiss exclaims, "Give me that!" He grabs the sandwich off Vaughn.

We sit there and just chatting about random stuff. The plane lands in Hong Kong and we get all our gear on to before we had out to check the place that we believe is Sloane's hideout.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As we drive to the suspected hideout, I notice that Sydney has been rather quiet since we landed. I reach over and squeeze her hand with mine, "Don't worry Syd, we'll find him and find out where you have been for the past two years."

She just smiles back, squeezing my hand back. We arrive at the location, the building appears to be a warehouse, we enter at the back entrance. The ground floor of the warehouse is nearly completely empty except for random packing boxes to one side of the room. We head for the stairs.

Myself, Sydney and Weiss take the first floor while the other agents continue up the stairs to the second floor. We exit the stairwell to the first floor and we enter what appears to be a corridor leading to apartments.

"Which door?" Weiss asks.

"Er, maybe we should...." I say

"That one," Sydney says pointing, "number two."

"How do you know?" Weiss asks. She shrugs her shoulders, it is a good enough bet as any other of the doors.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The apartment is drawing me to it. It is so familiar. We enter the apartment, the place is fully furnished, however the apartment is devoid of personal touches and any personal belongings. All the tables, cabinets tops are empty and all the drawers and cupboards are empty. However:

It all feels so familiar.

I wander through the apartment to the bedroom, I open random drawers and the wardrobe, knowing what was suppose to be there. _What was there._

It all feels so familiar.

I sit down on the bed, and stare out the window, I feel like I have done this so many times. The view out the window is what I excepted, nothing new.

It all feels so familiar.

"There is nothing here except furniture." I hear Weiss shout.

"I agree," Vaughn says, "Sydney, where are..." He is interrupted by Weiss.

"The agents upstairs say they have found something, we should..." I don't seem to hear the rest, I become mesmerised by this room, I know it so well, I stand up and walk towards the window continuing to look out at the skyline. I begin to feel dizzy, I feel a vale of darkness coming over me, the odd thing is this feels so familiar as well, the feeling continues until there is blackness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I feel myself being gently shaken and voices calling my name, "Syd?"

The voices continue to get louder, and I stop being shaken when I start to feel my head move. I slowly open my eyes and the light is to much as I wince.

My eyes still adjusting to the light, I hear Vaughn before I see him. "Thank God, Syd, you had us worried for a time there." I can hear the relief in his voice.

As my sight comes back into focus, I notice that we are back on the plane, I try to speak but my mouth is so dry, Weiss realises this and hands me some water.

"What happened? Why are we back on the plane?" I ask.

"You passed out at the apartment. We brought you back once we recovered all the information we could from the second floor computer." Vaughn explains.

Just then, one of the agents comes into this cabin, "She's awake I see." The onboard medic.

"Why did I blackout?" I ask.

He replies, "I am not sure, it can be for a number of reasons. But Agent Vaughn tells me that you were not up to going on this mission in the first place and the stress may have caused you to blackout. But you should check in with the medical services when we get back."

The trip back to LA, is uneventful except for Vaughn fretting over me the whole back. We arrive back the JTF centre. Kendall is waiting for as Weiss gives the computer information gathered to Marshall for analysis.

"Agent Bristow, you have an appointment with hypo-regression therapy people, I believe."

"Now?" _He wants me to have a session straight after a long haul flight?_

"Yes, now Agent Bristow!" I glance at Vaughn who hasn't said a word and walk off to Medical Services.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Sydney walks off to medical services, Kendall gestures towards the briefing room, where Jack is already sat down. Weiss and I take our seats and I say, "Shouldn't we wait for Sydney?"

"You can tell her later." Kendall says.

"We acquired new intel only around 3 hours ago concerning the whereabouts of Sloane and his associates." Kendall pauses. He switches on the screens in front of us to show some pictures of Sloane and his associates.

"Where?" I ask.

"He has come back to LA."

"Why haven't we detained him?" Weiss asks.

Knowing the answer, I answer sarcastically, "Because he's disappeared."

"That is correct." Kendall continues, "The information that you obtained in Hong Kong could be useful to this mission once it is analysed."

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TBC..................................


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank for the reviews!! PLEASE keep reviewing.**

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Chapter 8

I find myself strapped to a bed in what seems to be a medical lab. I can hear a couple of people approaching from behind me, they come around in front of me. It is Sloane and some man in a white doctor's coat I have never seen before.

"How long will this take, today?" Sloane asked the man.

"I'd say around two hours or so." The man said, looking for something in the cabinet to the left.

I try to speak but nothing seems to be coming out.

"I will tend to her wound first and then begin the experiment."

Sloane just nods and walks off behind me to what I can only presume is the door.

"Make sure she remembers nothing. She must believed she blacked out again."

"Of course, Sir, my patients never remember anything."

****

"Good, call me when you are done." Sloane says.

The doctor walks over to me with a needle ready to inject me with something, "Of course."

I presume that it is a sedative as I fall unconsciousness.

I suddenly open my eyes and realise I am in medical services. The doctor is sitting across from me taking notes. "I would like to try again," she says.

I nod and close my eyes.

"Now, Sydney I want you to think back to where you went in Hong Kong, there is a great possibility that you were kept there. Did anything on the mission feel familiar?"

"Yes," I nod my head, "the apartment where we located the information."

"Okay, I want you to think back to the apartment." After several minutes of getting me back into the state for hypo regression. I hear the doctor saying;

"I am going to count down from three to one. When I get to one, I want you to tell me where you are and what you are doing. 3-2-1..."

"I'm in the bedroom of the apartment," daylight is streaming in through the windows, "I am sitting on the edge of the bed, putting on my shoes." I feel some arms from behind encirle me.

His hands in encircle me, he begins kissing the side of my neck. I lean my head further sidewards to accommodate him, I reach my right hand and run it through his hair.

"Rachel," he groans, "come back to bed, it's a Sunday. You don't have to go to work."

His offer is tempting but, "I have to go in, these clients won't wait, Chris." I turn my head to meet his lips after a moment I pull away and get up, to go to work.

I wake up. That man was Christopher MacKay, one of Sloane's men. Why was I with him? Sloane had me sleeping with one of his associates.

I tell the doctor about what I was doing and what I'd seen. I get up to leave the room, when the doctor says, "I will type up the report and send it immediately to Director Kendall."

After leaving, I walk over to the main desk of medical services where I approach the on duty doctor to have a once over about my blackout in Hong Kong, which takes around an hour. After an examination and a couple of tests the doctor cannot find anything wrong with me, and lets me go.

I head back to the main JTF, where I can see no sign of my father, Vaughn, Weiss or Kendall. I guess that they must be in the briefing room and head over there. I enter and they are all sitting around the table.

"Sorry, I'm late."

"Good, now that you are here, Agent Bristow." Kendall says, he is the one who wanted me to go to the session and he's making me feel like I am late.

He continues as I sit down, "I have read the report by the hypo- regression doctor and it appears that you may have known Christopher MacKay. I think we could exploit this on your next mission."

"What?" Myself, Vaughn and my father all say in unison.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I will state again, Sir, that I do not believe it to be a good idea for Agent Bristow to go on another mission, considering what happened." I state, is it going to lead to another shouting match between myself and Kendall?

"A one off incident Agent Vaughn." he says.

Before I can form a reply, Jack jumps in speaking directly to me, "I share your concerns Agent Vaughn, if Sydney were to have one of these blackouts again, it could endanger her and the mission."

I look at Kendall, who seems to be staring at Jack with fire in his eyes. I mean being challenged by Jack twice into two days, cannot help your leadership status. But every good leader must compromise at one point or another.

"Alright, Jack," he says, the anger evident in his voice, "if Agent Bristow feels that she is up to going on this mission then she can go. We can look at the mission specs first before she makes up her mind." He says looking at Sydney, who nods.

"Good." I say.

"As you missed the briefing earlier, Agent Bristow, I will update you on the situation. Sloane and his associates have arrived in LA."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"When?" Ignoring me, Kendall continues.

"Our new intel indicates that Sloane has gone to ground in Burbank area of LA, in a 'safe house' bought by his associates." He gives us all files and continues, "Your mission will be to get in there, with the other agents and arrest Sloane and his associates. However, may I remind you that Sloane is on our most wanted list and so 'shoot to kill' is applicable."

Kendall continues to telling us more information about the mission, Vaughn keeps looking at me with pleading eyes begging me not to go.

"Agent Bristow, are you going to be part of this mission?" Kendall asks.

"I will be fine to go." I state._ I have got to make sure Sloane does not hurt Vaughn._

"Good. That's the end of the meeting, be back here in one hour."

As we exit the briefing room, Vaughn pulls me to one side out of the way of other agents.

In a low, but hostile tone of voice he says, "Why the hell did you do that?"

"What?" I pretend like I don't know what he is talking about.

"God damn it Sydney, don't play dumb. Why did you agree to go on that mission?" He runs his hands over his face and through his hair, he's frustrated.

"Because I feel up to it and there is a chance to get Sloane, then I am all for it. I also think....." I trail off not sure if I should continue, "That you shouldn't go."

"What?"

"Well, you're obviously frustrated which could compromise the mission."

"Sydney, I am not the issue here. I will be going on this mission to make sure that you are alright."

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We arrive outside the house on the outskirts of Los Angeles. It is rather large house, a large wall surrounding it, however the gates to the house were already open. The agents surround the house, waiting for the order from Kendall to go in. Kendall gives us the order to go.

As we move in there is a lot of fire from what we can only presume are Sloane's guards, however we successfully shoot them down. Around five minutes later, some of our agents report that they have captured one of Sloane's men, he gave himself up. A further ten minutes later, all the agents report in that the house is clear except for the dead guards. Some agents report that they have been injured, I do not take any notice of these reports until I hear that Vaughn is one of them.

I run to the ambulances that are now at the front of the house treating injured agents. I see Vaughn sitting on the edge of the first ambulance being treated.

"Oh my God, are you alright!" I literally scream.

"Yeah, it's just a gash."

I am relieved but it could have been a lot worse, and now that Sloane's got away, there will be more of these confrontations, which would equal more chance of Vaughn getting hurt.

The tears start flowing, when I start examining the what ifs? _What if he had been seriously hurt or even killed?_

He stands, puts his good arm around me and pulls me down to where he was sitting trying to calm me down. "Shhhhhh."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We arrive back a couple of hours later at the JTF for a debriefing. It is determined that either Sloane made a quick getaway or he was never actually at the house to begin with. The man we captured was Christopher MacKay, we will begin his interrogation tomorrow. Kendall orders us all home to get some rest. I go back to Will's with Sydney and stay with her, she is still upset over what happened.

The next day, we arrived at the JTF and Kendall had ordered a meeting. He preceded to order Sydney to go and see Christopher MacKay before his interrogation starts. I could see the conflicted look on Syd's face but I assured her I would be watching her through the monitor and I would be there in a flash if she needed me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I cannot believe Kendall wants me to go and see him. I mean I was sleeping with this man Sloane had put me with, the more she thought about it, the more disgusted she felt. I feel like I have been violated.

He had been put in Irina's old cell. As I walk towards the cell, I feel the same trepidation that I felt the first time I came to see my mother, here.

I approach the cell, he is sitting on the window sill on the other side of the room. I move closer to the glass, he looks up at me with a look of shock on his face.

"Rachel?," he stutters, "What... are you doing here?" _Why doesn't he call me Sydney? Why does he keep this pretence up?_

He walks towards the glass. "You know who I really am, stop with the cover. Tell me where Sloane is?" I demand.

"What? Rachel, I don't know where Arvin is. I came to LA, to find you, he told me had a lead that you were out here. I mean you disappeared without a trace."

I couldn't stand how he was acting towards me, like he is genuinely concerned about me, like he loves me.

"Stop, acting like this." I tell him.

"Like what?"

"Like you do not know who Sloane really is, like you..." The tears that had been pooling in my eyes are threatening to spill over.

"Rachel, what are you talking about? Arvin's an international banker you know that. I don't understand why I'm here, why you're here?" His voice was pleading.

The tears begin flowing down my cheeks, he continues to speak but it becomes white noise, a distant sound in the background. I feel myself collapsing to the floor. A moment later she felt herself being pulled up from the ground, it was Vaughn.

"Come on Syd," he whispers, as pulls me up. My sight is blurred from the tears, but I glance in the cell to see Christopher being restrained by two agents as I walk away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I take Sydney home to get some rest, that confrontation with Christopher emotionally drained her. After I drop her off back at Will's, I head back to the JTF. When I arrive, Christopher's interrogation has already begun and Weiss tells me that so far Christopher claims that he doesn't know anything about Sloane being a 'terrorist', he believes him to be a high level banker and the adoptive parent of Sydney or as he keeps calling her Rachel.

I listened into the next couple of hours of the interrogation, as why he claims he is in LA with Sloane. He was asked why his apartment in Hong Kong was 'empty' and he replied that it had to have pest control people in.

Just before I decided to leave and see how Sydney was, at the end of the day. Weiss comes up tells me that after extensive interviews, the CIA are thinking about letting him go, as they have determined that he does not seem to know anything about Sloane's activities.

I arrive at Will's and see that Syd is on the couch watching television, she seems to be a lot better than she was this morning. She tells that she had a good rest, and feels better for it. I tell her about what Christopher has said during the interrogation and that the CIA are going to release him tomorrow, if everything checks out.

"I want to be the one tell him." She says.

"Of course, we'll go in early tomorrow." _She is the only one he really does know._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was taken to a briefing room, similar to the one I was in yesterday. After a few minutes, Sydney came into me, to tell me I had been cleared. The CIA believed I do not know anything about Sloane's whereabouts or his activities. However, they want me to stay at a safe house, just for a while incase Sloane may want to come after me. Sydney gives me the address of the safe house and tells me that there is a rental car in the JTF car park for me, and says that she will visit me later.

I arrive at the safe house after checking the place for bugs, I decide I wouldn't use the phone in the house and go out to find a pay phone. I find a payphone and dial a number.

"Sloane" he answers.

"I have been let go." I state.

"Good. Did they suspect anything?"

"No, Sydney is coming to see me later to help in adjust."

"Excellent, did you find anything we could..."

"I found someone, his name is Michael Vaughn. He seems to be 'involved' with Sydney."

"Are you sure? My last intelligence report stated he was still with his wife."

"I'm not sure about that, but when I collected my car from the JTF car park, Sydney and Mr. Vaughn were there showing public shows of affection."

"This could be just the opportunity we are looking for, I want you find out a little more first, but this looks promising."

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TBC........................


	9. Chapter 9

Thank You for the reviews and your continued support!! **PLEASE** keep reviewing.

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Chapter 9

I don't know whether it is a sixth sense or I have just learned to accept every so often something bad will happen, but I can almost always have this feeling when something bad is going to happen, warning me of what is to come. In the past, I have ignored it hoping that it was mind just expecting things to happen. I think in some ways I have this 'bad luck' that I give people who are around me, I pass it on to them making things happen.

However, this time I have decided that I have got to take notice and I am going to do something about it, may be prevent something from happening.

I have to make sure Vaughn doesn't 'catch' my bad luck, I have got to let go. I am not sure how I am going to stop him seeing me or even loving me but there has got to be a way. I love him with all my heart that letting him go and making sure he is safe is my top priority.

Two days after Christopher is released I decide to go and see how he is doing. I keep thinking that he must be having a hard time like I had had after finding out that a lot of what he knows is a lie. I enter the safehouse calling his name, when he doesn't answer I wonder further into the house looking for him.

I walk into the back kitchen where I find Christopher mixing himself a drink of what looks like orange and vodka.

"Christopher?" I walk over to him and grab the bottle of vodka off of him. "You know drink isn't going to make anything better." He shrugs his shoulders and begins to drink his drink. I try to make him understand,

"Look, the man who did this to you, to me, he is an evil man and ruins the lives everyone he meets and..."

"Why did he do that to you?" He asks.

"I... don't know." He quietly accepted my explanation.

"So, you don't remember anything about our life together." He says putting his drink back on the work surface, avoiding my gaze.

"Not really."

He begins to walk over to the dining table where he sits down, I follow and pull out a chair and sit directly in front on him.

"Our... we were good together you and I, we had plans, we were going to..." He breaks down.

I leaned across and pulled him into my arms, after a couple of minutes he pulls himself out of my embrace. He stands staring at me for a moment and the next thing I know is that his lips have collided with me. I push him back,

"I'm sorry," he muttered.

"It's okay."

After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, I ask him to tell me about 'Rachel'. He tells me the things liked and what she disliked, and not surprising they are mostly what I like and dislike. I feel so bad for him, he knows so much about her and is clearly in love, he holds up his right hand to me and for a second I think he wants a high-five, but I realise that he wants her to hold his hand. I rise my left hand and let my fingers entwine with his. He leans in and at the same time pulling me closer, our foreheads lean against one another. I don't pull a way understanding that he may need this moment.

After a couple of minutes I begin to feel terribly uncomfortable, I begin to pull away, but he whispers pulling me closer, "Just let me have another moment," so I let him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Weiss and myself have been ordered by Kendall to check on Christopher MacKay and also to give him more information on his stay at the safe house.

We arrive at the safehouse, to see Sydney's government issue car parked outside. Before Weiss has even parked the car I have already jumped out and making my way to the door. I walk into the lounge and nobody is there so I quietly walk through to the back kitchen, the door is slightly ajar. I peek round to see Sydney and Christopher leaning into each other, there foreheads touching and their eyes closed. They are completely oblivious to me.

I know they are not doing anything bad but I have this really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach about this. All of a sudden Weiss comes up behind me, "Hey, why the hell....?" At the same time as barging into the kitchen where they are now sitting back in there chairs now after the _interruption._

Sydney makes an excuse and leaves, as we tell Christopher about how long he will be here and just bring him up to date on what is happening. We finish up around an hour later, as we are walking to the car, Weiss speaks up.

"So, come on what's up with you?" He asks.

"Huh?" Snapping out of mind being on what happened earlier, "there's nothing up."

"Ever since we got here you've been acting grumpy..." he says suddenly realising, "ahhh girlfriend troubles already?"

I roll my eyes, but decide to tell him the truth, "I saw Syd and Christopher being 'intimate'."

"What?.... When?.... Kissing?" He asks flabbergasted.

"No, being..."

"Mike, what actually happened?"

I explain to Weiss what I actually saw and he tells me not to worry.

"Talk to Sydney, I am sure there is a reasonable explanation."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It felt creepy the way that Chris was being me, I understand that he may have needed it but it still felt wrong and it makes my skin crawl just thinking about it.

I am sitting back at Will's apartment watching television when the doorbell sounds, I get up to answer it, it's Vaughn.

"Hey."

"Hey, yourself." I say, I move to the side to let him come in the door. He walks in and stands staring at his hands, this cannot be good. He looks up and then begins to speak.

"I wanted to talk about what happened today." He voice barely above a whisper.

"Errr... what did happen today?" I asked.

Suddenly his voice changed to being very annoyed, "Oh don't act like you don't know!"

"Vaughn, I don't know what you are...." He interrupted me.

"Between you and Chris at the safehouse."

"Oh, that." I muttered under my breath, but he heard me.

"Ah, so you admit something happened."

May be this is my chance to stop Vaughn from seeing me, to make him safe, to stop him from getting hurt.

"What did you see..."

"Enough!"

Here I go, "I admit it... I still have feelings for him, I..." He interrupted, his face full of shock and anger.

"What? You can't be serious! You don't remember..."

"It's the truth." I state. He stares at me with tears threatening in his eyes, like in Hong Kong, "and I think it would be best to cool... our relationship off at the moment."

"Sydney," his voice is pleading.

"Vaughn, I think it will be for the best." _Who am I kidding? Maybe this wasn't such a good idea._

Just one look at his face, broke my heart. He stared at me for a moment and then turned on his heel and stormed out.

I cannot believe what I have done, he is my life. My love him overpowers my rational side and I run out the door after him but he has already in his car driving off.

What have I done?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I arrive back at my house, throwing the keys on the table as I walk in. It is around 10 o'clock, I have been driving around since I left Syd, I can't believe that she would do this. I proceed to kitchen for some food.

I feel a sharp pain in the side of my neck and feel myself falling to the ground. I feel a cloud of darkness coming over me and all I think of is Sydney.

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TBC............


	10. Chapter 10

**PLEASE REVIEW!!!**

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Chapter 10

I was so stupid. I shouldn't have lied to him like that, I should have gone after him, I should have.... so many regrets. But today is a new day and I have a plan, no make that several, each contingency has been planned for. I have got to make him understand. Understand I only want him safe, understand that I love him.

I arrive at the JTF and park my car, I look around for Vaughn's car in the parking lot but it doesn't seem to be there. No need to worry, I tell myself, I have all the time in the world to make this right.

I walk into the operations centre to see Weiss sitting at his desk going through a ton of paperwork. I sit down at the desk next to him.

"Hey," I say my voice dejected.

He looks up, "Morning, what's up with you?"

Just as I open my mouth to speak he continues, "Lover's tiff?"

I start fiddling with a paperclip on the desk, "Worse.... we, I mean I told him we should cool our... relationship off..."

"You what?" Weiss practically screamed.

I can barely get the next words out, "I don't know what I was thinking."

"Clearly," he says staring at me shocked.

I explain to him why I did it and Weiss tells that he still has a little difficulty understanding, but knowing what I had been through it probably looked like a good idea at the time.

"Look," he says, "Mike isn't in yet and from what you've told me, he probably won't come in today, so let me drive you to his house and you two can sort this problem out."

On the way to Vaughn's house, Weiss comments, "What did I tell you about messing Mike around?"

"I know, but I am going to make this right."

We arrive at Vaughn's house, after ringing the bell and knocking several times, Weiss retrieves the spare key, which was taped under the window sill, "Maybe, he's still sleeping."

"Yeah," I reply.

We enter the house and call for Vaughn but no one seems to be home. We search the house for him but no sign, Weiss comes back down the stairs, "The bed doesn't look like its been slept in."

"But his car is parked outside," I glance at the small table I am standing next to, "here are his car and house keys, I mean he wouldn't..." I am interrupted by Weiss mobile phone ringing.

"Hello," he says, "Okay, be there soon."

"We have to get back to the JTF now," he states beginning to walk out the door.

"But... but what about Vaughn?"

"I am sure he'll reappear when he's ready."

We rush back to the JTF, when we enter the operations centre to see my father and Kendall with concern etched on to their faces, I instinctively know something is wrong. Seriously wrong.

"What's... what's wrong," I stutter.

My father begins to speak, "We received this e-mail in the last 40 minutes, it appears to be from Sloane..."

He hands me the printout of the e-mail, it reads:

ATTENTION:

CIA/JTF OPERATIONS,

Los Angeles CA

As of 10.00pm last night, we have taken hostage one of your agents, Michael Vaughn. Our aim is to make his captivity as short lived as possible, as long as the following conditions are met;

- Any files/ reports (medical or otherwise) attaining to Agent Sydney Bristow's case since her return are to be handed over.

- Agent Sydney Bristow is to be there at the exchange, herself.

- No additional CIA interference.

If you fail to met these conditions, we will have no choice in the matter but to kill your agent and we know how highly and affectionately Miss Bristow holds Mr. Vaughn.

Details of the exchange will be given in exactly 32 hours time.

Sloane.

I cannot believe what I am reading, it is all my fault, if I had not told him that we should.....

I can't think anymore and run off towards the ladies rest room. I empty the contents of my stomach into the toilet. I just sit there, leaning over the toilet heaving, tears streaming down my face, trying to bring myself under control.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Sydney," Jack said as she runs off, I grab his arm, knowing she'll probably want to be alone.

Jack nods understanding, "I'll go and see how she is in a moment," I say. Sydney would not appreciate her father trying to console her about Vaughn.

I pick up the e-mail off the floor where Sydney had dropped it, after a moment of reading it, I make my way to the bathroom to see how she is doing. I knock on the door, after I don't get a response, I push the door open slightly and try again, "Sydney?"

I heard a weak voice, "Come in," I enter the bathroom, to find Sydney walking out of the stall wiping her mouth with some toilet tissue, she had obviously been sick. She walks over to the sink area and leans on it.

"Syd," I say as I walk up to her.

She cups some water from the tap and sips some, "It's an exchange, me for him." She states.

"It didn't say that, you just have to be...."

"Damnit Weiss! Your not that naive, you know what it means, Sloane wants me back."

We stand in silence for a moment before she breaks it. "So, I guess that I have got to go _missing_ again. I don't want anything to go wrong during this exchange, I want no way for Vaughn to get hurt, I...."

"Sydney, we will get _both_ of you out of this."

She lets out a small sarcastic laugh, "This time I don't think that's gonna happen." _I have a bad feeling about this._

After a few minutes, we made our way back out into the JTF. Where Jack is figuring out a strategy for extraction of Vaughn, if we can find intel. Around an hour later myself and Sydney are looking through reports and intel to try to give us a lead as to where Vaughn could be, when Jack orders a meeting in the debriefing room immediately.

"We have some new intel as to where Vaughn is and we should move on it in the next couple of hours." Jack announces.

"Where did this intel come from?" Sydney asks.

Jack slightly hesitates, "Your Mother."

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TBC..................


	11. Chapter 11

Thank You for the reviews and your continued support.

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Chapter 11

"My mother," I said practically shouted.

"Yes." He simply stated.

"I don't understand.... when... how did she contact you?"

"She contacted me, around 25 minutes ago via e-mail, she has...." I interrupted him, standing up.

"She could be leading us into a trap. You can't seriously believe her? I can't believe after everything....." I was literally screaming at him.

"SYDNEY!" He shouted, "She has given us some valuable intelligence. If want Vaughn back safe, this is our only tangible lead. Now, please sit down and let me discuss the intel."

"Fine." I say sitting down. I sit in silence for the rest of the briefing, as my father tells us of the intel he received and discusses the various options that were available to us for rescuing Vaughn. The intel indicates that Sloane has taken Vaughn back to another one of his hideouts in Hong Kong.

"Sydney, Agent Weiss you will be part of the task force that will be going to Hong Kong to rescue Vaughn. I will stay here at the JTF to co-ordinate the operation."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wake up and open eyes, trying to adjust to the light. I sit up and I realise I am on a bed in what looks to some sort of cell. I suddenly became aware of the pain in my neck, where I had obviously been hit.

The door to the cell is a steel door with a little voice hole, I decide to see if I can get anyone's attention by shouting through it;

"Hey, is anyone out there?"

I realise then that my voice is just being projected back into the room. I turn around and lean against the cold metal door, I tilt my head sidewards and glance upwards noticing a small, discreet security camera in the top corner of the room.

They are obviously watching me, whoever they are. I wave frantically at the camera to get someone s attention, I want answers.

After a few minutes I conclude that my efforts have been futile or someone may come and see me, either I go and sit on the bed, to wait. I lean against the wall and my mind drifts to Sydney. Suddenly, I begin to worry, not for me but for her. I wonder what she thinks has happened to me, or whether she even knows or cares. She's probably to wrapped up in Christopher to care, I think bitterly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the meeting, we are given forty minutes to get ready for our flight to Hong Kong. All the agents involved in the mission are collecting their gear that they'll need from the storage room. Weiss is silently collecting his gear next to me, when he suddenly speaks up;

"We are going to get him back."

"I wish I had your confidence." I sigh inwardly and continued, "Maybe this is one of the full circle things...."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean this whole thing started with me waking up in Hong Kong, in a way Vaughn getting kidnapped was my fault."

Weiss puts his arm around me, "It wasn't your fault, they needed him to make this exchange.... possible and they would have found a way to..."

"If I hadn't told him.... let me go off... he may not have....."

"We'll get him back." Weiss said confidently._ But what about me?_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hear the unlocking of the steel door to my cell. The door opens to two men walking in, whom I can only presume are guards. They come over to me with a pair of handcuffs and restrain me to cuff me to the bed posts. They both move and stand on the opposite side of the room, as they do that a familiar figure walks through the door.

"Sloane"

"Mister Vaughn, it is good to see you again, it has been a long time."

"Cut the bullshit! Why am I here?" I shout.

"You are Mister Vaughn to help us in our quest to get something we want."

"I am not helping you. You took Sydney all along and you...."

"I what Mr. Vaughn, I never told you that I didn't have Sydney, you just...."

"You son of a bitch, how you can stand there and justify ruining her life..." He interrupted me.

"I didn't ruin her life, I gave her a chance to fulfil the prophecy, it is your life and others that were ruined."

"How dare you!"

"Mr. Vaughn, you will not be here any longer than you have to be. We will come and collect you when the time comes."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We are two hours into our to Hong Kong, and as the moves on the more apprehensive I get. I keep feeling like something bad is going to happen. Weiss came over to sit next to me, with a cell phone in his hand.

"Hey, that was your father." He said with slight hestiation in his voice.

"Yeah? What did he want?"

"There is a slight change to the mission specs..." he says trailing off.

"What do you mean a slight change?"

"Well....erm....we will be...er..meeting....." He mutters.

"Spit it out."

"Your mother is meeting us to help co-ordinate the...." I interrupt him.

"What!? My father authorised this? How could he? He shouldn't....." I was babbling.

"Sydney, calm down I am sure your mother just wants to help." He says putting his hand on my arm and then I see it, the cell phone. I grab it from Weiss, I need to speak to my father, he just can't do this.

After about five minutes on the phone to him, which I spent silent as he was explaining to me why this was taking place and how it would be better for the mission.

I sat back down next Weiss, "What he'd say?"

"That she'll be an asset to this mission, that she could be pivotal in getting Vaughn back."

"Well if she helps getting Vaughn ba....."

"I don't trust her." I interrupted.

"You might just have to."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had a short nap on the plane to Hong Kong, whenever I tried to sleep. I just kept thinking of what Sloane could be doing to Vaughn, why my mother has come out of the woodwork. I finally succumbed to sleep because of tiredness.

When we arrived in Hong Kong, we were taken to a hanger at the airport were we would gear up and go over our mission plan. A car with blacked out windows, pulls up outside the hanger, as we arrive there. The car door opens and someone gets out whom I'm not sure I wanted to see again.

"Mom."

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TBC.....................


	12. Chapter 12

Thank you for your reviews!!!! 

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Chapter 12

"Mom"

"Sydney," she says walking over to me. She is quick to embrace me in a hug. I stand there making no effort to reciprocate. _I do not trust her. I will not trust her._

She lets me go, still facing me with her hands still on my arms, "You look better than I expected."

This caught my attention, " Why? How did you expect me to look?"

Without flinching she said, "After you went missing, what I am suppose to think? Anything could have happened to you over those two years and with the unfortunate capture of Agent Vaughn, I thought that maybe things are taking there toll."

She glances behind me to agents and then she turns back to the car she arrived and two of her 'bodyguards' emerge from the car. She turns back to face me, "For my protection, you understand."

I just nod and she proceeds to walk into the hanger, turning back around to me, "Shall we get started?"

In the course of the next 10 minutes, my mother briefs us on where Sloane's facility is and the security surrounding it and where exactly in the building she believes he is keeping Vaughn.

"You believe? We need to be definite." I say.

"Sloane is unpredictable and there are no absolutes in espionage, you know that. The last intel I received indicated that Agent Vaughn was here," she says pointing to the facilities blueprints, "in the south east corner of the building, where the cells are located."

My voice rises, "Don't patronise me! We need to be definite! I don't want to walk into a trap and I do not want a chance for Vaughn to be hurt." I shout.

"Sydney..." Weiss says placing his hand on my shoulder trying to stop me.

"No Weiss," I say shaking off his arm, "if she hasn't got precise intel as to where Vaughn is located, we could be walking into a trap."

"The intel I have is valid. I assure you that all this is in the best interests of..." I cut her off.

"YOU!" I shout. _The only reason she is helping me, is that there must be something in this for her._

My mother grabs my arm, taking me out of earshot of the agents and her 'bodyguards'. I fight to release her strongly _motherly _grip.

"Get off of me!" I shout.

"Sydney, listen to me!" She shouts back at me.

"Why should I?" I say quietening my voice down, "Your intel could get..."

"I know you do not trust me, Sydney. But believe me, when I say I am doing this for you... and for Agent Vaughn." She said quite sincerely.

"No, you are not. I mean you obviously know of Sloane's whereabouts and what I am asking myself is for how long? I was missing for two years and I believe I was with Sloane for most or all of that time, no one knew where I was, the question I ask myself is did you?" I was babbling, trying to get everything out in one burst.

"Sydney, he resurfaced a few days ago, I was able to track his movements...."

"I highly doubt he has just come back on to your radar."

And with that I left her mother just standing there and went and rejoined the other agents.

"Are you alright?" Weiss asks me curious.

"Yeah, I'm okay, just anxious to get Vaughn back."

My mother walked back over to where we had the map laid out of the facility and continued to explain the intel that she had, I was going to have to go along with as my father had ordered. We headed to our SUV's that we were using and moved out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I sat in the front seat of the SUV with may mother in the van in front of us. Around five minutes into our journey to Sloane's facility, Weiss cell phone began to ring.

"What?" I hear him exclaim, "When did this happen? Do we know what happened to him?"

Him. My first thought is that he is talking about Vaughn, but my instincts and common sense tell me no. I hear Weiss end the call and he sighs.

I turn around in my seat to ask him about it.

"What happened?" Hoping to God it had nothing to do with Vaughn.

"He's disappeared."

"Who's disappeared?" I ask.

"Christopher MacKay," he stated.

"What? Has Sloane got to him? Maybe...." Trying to think of all the possibilities.

"Your father says that they don't know what could have happened to him. He was scheduled to ring in early every morning, which is procedure. However, when the phone call never came this morning, the CIA sent agents to the safehouse to check on him. He was gone as well as all of his belongings." Weiss explains.

A million reasons run through my head as to why he has disappeared; has Sloane got to him? Has he run off on his own, out of fear?

An half an hour drives, seems to take an eternity, but when we do finally arrive near Sloane's facility, parking a street away. Ten minutes later all the teams report that they are in position around the building and are ready to move in on our signal. We open a constant comm link with my father back at the JTF where he is co-ordinating the operation.

"Mountaineer," I hear him say, "our satellite footage shows that there are seven figures inside the building, five of which are in the south-west corner and the two others are in the south-east corner. You are good to go."

Weiss signals the other teams, my mother is standing next to me, I turn to face her, "You are coming with me." I announce. She nods understanding.

We make our move into the building, we make it to the corridor leading the south west corner before we encounter any resistance. We shoot down the two guards who were shooting at us and continue to make our way through the building.

As we close on what we believe to be Sloane's position, I hear through my comm link from one of the other teams, "Mountaineer, we have secured the south-east corner and have acquired Vaughn."

"Get him out of here," I say. First priority is to make sure that Vaughn is safe.

We make our further to Sloane's position when we encounter more gunfire, we shot down the guard, however the other shooter makes a run for it back down the corridor. We take up pursuit immediately, the corridor turns to the left and becomes a dead end, ending with an office. As we make our way slowly down to the office, the door is slightly ajar and we decide to make a move to enter the room. Entering the office we all have our guns ready for any surprises behind the door but at first glance there are none. But then we hear the sound of a gun being reloaded, the sound is coming from behind the desk.

"Freeze," I say, "come up nice and slow hands in the air."

The guard comes up slowly with their hands in the air, and tosses the gun away, but it is not some faceless guard that I do not know, it is Christopher.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I watched as Weiss kicks the gun further from Christopher as he goes over to handcuff him. Out of all the possibilities there were for his disappearance, I had not thought about this one. I should have learnt by now, that everyone will betray me in the end. As Weiss is handcuffing, I look straight at him, I mean I cannot believe that he would....

"Tell me it's a mistake." I say, "That you are not working with Sloane?" _Please, tell me it's a mistake._

"Sorry, Sydney.... it was nice while it lasted." He said with a smirk on his face.

I felt my world crashing down on me. I had been with this guy for two years and he was a plant by Sloane. At that moment, I feel tears stinging my eyes, I hear Weiss begin a conversation to base ops but it becomes white noise, my legs become unsteady and I can feel myself falling to the ground but then I stop falling. A pair of arms are supporting me and helping me over to a chair in the room, it's my mother.

"Sydney, are you okay?" She asks, putting her hand on my forehead.

"I am fine," I say, swatting her hand away and pushing myself up from the chair. I wipe the tears from my eyes and try to focus on something else than Christopher. I hear Weiss ask the question and I listen intently for the answer from base ops.

"Do you have the location of Sloane?"

"Yes, he is, huh?.... Wait a second." _That cannot be good. _"What?" I hear on the comm, this is definitely not good.

"Do you have his location?" Weiss repeats.

Silence. "Sorry," I hear over the link, "we have lost his location, he just disappeared from our sat link."

"He can't just have disappeared!" I shout. Every time I get close to ending this, something happens to keep this insanity in my life going.

Another team in the mean time reports in that their section of the building is clear.

Base ops informs us, "We just cannot locate him."

"I don't believe this," I mutter under my breath, I thought no one had heard me speak until,

"Believe it Sydney!" Christopher says smiling like a Cheshire cat.

For around 30 minutes, we stay in the building and wait for a second set of agents to come in and go through the building thoroughly. Christopher is soon taken away by another set of agents. I have been sitting, on the office couch for the past ten minutes, in shock at what had happened. Christopher's betrayal, Sloane's disappearance, I was relieved that Vaughn is safe. I push myself up from the chair, declaring;

"I want to go and see Vaughn."

My mother and Weiss turn around to look at me.

"Are you sure?" My mother asks, "You said you were feeling a little queasy a few minutes ago."

"I am fine, now. Can we just go?"

"Yeah, the clean up team won't be here until probably tomorrow so..." Weiss said gesturing towards the door.

I switch the light off as we leave the room. We walk through the building towards the front entrance, when I realise that I have left my hand held gun in the room. I had put it on the table, so that I was more comfortable when I sat down.

"Hang on, I forgot my weapon back there. You two go ahead, I'll meet you at the front entrance."

I find my way back to the office, switching the light on, I head over to the table in the far corner, next to the couch. I hear the door slam behind me, just as I have picked up the gun.

"Hello, Sydney." I hear the familiar voice say. _Sloane._

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TBC..................


	13. Chapter 13

Thanks for the reviews!!!

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Chapter 13

"Hello, Sydney."

Immediately, after hearing those words, I grab my gun off the table and swing around to point it at him. I find that he is mirroring me with a gun pointed at me.

"What do you want?" I ask angrily, my voice full of venom.

"Ah, I see we're skipping the pleasantries... what I want, is what I have always wanted and that is to complete and fulfil the teachings of Rambaldi."

"And would those teachings include holding me for two years?"

"You remember? Unfortunate." He says.

"Parts of it," I cannot contain my anger, "You destroyed my life you son of a bitch." I shout. From having Francie killed, a double living in my apartment, Will being stabbed and Vaughn and mine's relationship.

"As I said, Rambaldi prophesied....." I cut him off,

"To leave my life in tatters, and as I understand the Rambaldi documents the CIA have do not prophesies any of what happened, so maybe you are out just solely to destroy my life!"

"They do not have the second most important set of documents, the ones that...."

"Your lying!"

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Walking towards the front of the building with the woman whom had nearly killed me in the Port of Barcelona, three years, I feel like I should be surrounding her and myself with as many guards as possible. But I also have a lot to thank her for, that near death experience opened my eyes and made me live life- take the risks, force other people to take the risks.

The silence is unbearable and she keeps looking behind her, glancing to where Sydney went. She is making me nervous by just being here, she begins walking slightly behind me, can she make me anymore uncomfortable?

"Agent Weiss?" She says, I stop and turn around and that is when she hits me with a tazzer gun, I immediately fall to the floor as the pain of the electric shock is unbearable. She gives me a couple more shocks before taking my communication headset and smashing on the ground under her foot. I open my eyes to see her run off in the direction that we have just came from.

A moment later, having recovered from some of the pain the tazzer caused me, I try to push myself up, I only make a small way before hearing some shouting and hurried footsteps towards me, it is Vaughn.

"Hey man, are you okay?"

"Irina she..." I say as he pulls me up, "She went back in the direction of where Sydney is... at the end of the hallway..."

The moment I mention Irina's name and Sydney's name, Vaughn's face contorts with anger and then with worry. He grabs me weapon from me,

"Hey, where are going?" I ask.

"I'm going after her..... go get help, I may need it." He says running off in the direction she went.

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We have moved slightly further into the office, guns still trained on one another.

"Everything must play out as Rambaldi prophesied."

"And is this all playing out as he...."

The door suddenly bursts open and it is my mother, "Sloane!" she shouts and immediately has her gun trained on him. _Has she come here to save me? Doubtful._

"Don't be foolish, Irina. I have a gun trained on Sydney, I don't _want_ to her but I will if I have to, it would all be over in a second."

"If you hadn't noticed, Sloane," I say, "There are two guns trained on you...." he interrupts to continue speaking to my mother.

"I was just explaining to Sydney here, how things have to play out exactly to what Rambaldi prophesied but you should already know that as you have studied his work."

"Why are you here?" I ask, all I want to do is get out of here.

"Be quiet, Sydney!" My mother shouts.

Before I can reply, she has begun speaking back to Sloane, "You should also be aware, Arvin, that there is many ways to interpret Rambaldi's texts."

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As I look for the office, Weiss told me about, I hear gunshots ring out through the silence of the building. I run towards the shots and I enter the room to see Irina standing over what looks like Sloane, she fires again. I run over to her to take the gun out of her hands.

Dread. It is the only way I can describe the sudden feeling I got when I took the gun from her. I turned around to look at the other side of the room. Sydney on the floor holding her abdomen. I run over to her and so does Irina.

"Sydney?" I kneel down gently pulling her on to my lap.

I look down to where she is holding her abdomen, her hands are covered in blood. I look at her face and she looks like she is fighting to say awake. I put one hand over hands and one on her face, I turn to Irina, "Go get help!!" She nods and runs out the room.

"Sydney? Stay awake, you've got to..."

In a low, whispered tone I hear her say, "Vaughn, it hurts."

"I know, but you've gotta hang in there, until...."

Sydney's eyes begin to close and she doesn't begin to open them. I just feel myself freeze up with fear, "Sydney?"

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TBC............


	14. Chapter 14

I would like to THANK everyone who has reviewed this story and all those who have taken their time to read it. It has meant a lot.  


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Chapter 14

The smell of disinfectant in these hallways is overpowering as I sit here in this hospitial in Hong Kong, holding my empty coffee cup in my hands. I have been sitting in the most uncomfortable chair for nearly the past four hours, waiting and silently praying.

By the time we had gotten Sydney to the hospital, she had lost so much blood, she had gone so pale and her breathing had slowed to laboured breath. The doctors took her straight into surgery, and I have been sitting here ever since, every once in a while a nurse stops to ask me if I need anything._ I need Sydney to pull through this._

I have been sitting here, in my own little world thinking about everything that has happened recently. Only a month ago I thought she was dead, gone forever, never to come back. When I saw her on the floor in that room, her hands covered in blood, I felt the same fear and pain of losing her again, and the panic that she would be gone for good this time. I was scared not only for her but also for myself- I don't know if I could handle losing her again.

She is in surgery at the moment, fighting her her life and the worst part is that I cannot help her in anyway, except hope and pray.

Weiss snaps me out of my reverie as he comes and stands in front of me, "Hey, do you want another coffee?" He asks.

"No," I pause to ask him a question unsure whether I want to ask or whether he knows the answer, "where is she?"

He hesitates before he answers, "She is speaking to Jack outside the main entrance last time I saw her.... I don't think that Jack actually needs a telephone." He tries to joke.

Weiss sits down next to me and we fall into an awkward silence. He finally say something to break the silence, "She is going to be alright, you know." Trying to sound reassuring.

"I just... just don't want to lose her again, I can't handle that." I say putting my head in my hands.

A moment later, Irina comes over to where we are sitting and leans against the adjacent wall, arms folded. I feel her eyes on me.

"What did Jack say?" I ask.

"He is flying out here, his flight left around an hour ago." I just nod, knowing of how Jack dealt with Sydney's disappearance and I know how very protective of her he is now that she is back.

We all in fall into another silence. Around an hour later a doctor comes over to us accompanied by a nurse, with a small folder in her hand.

"Mr. Vaughn?" I stand, fearing what the doctor has to say. "I am Doctor Wang, I was the main surgeon involved in Miss Bristow's operation."

I cannot stand the suspense any longer, "Is she alright?"

"We successfully removed the bullet and stopped the bleeding caused by it. At the moment, she is in a stable condition in ICU. The nurse here, we take you to where she is, but I must warn you she will be out for a while."

"Thank You," I say shaking his hand.

The nurse waits until the doctor is gone, before saying; "Would you like to follow me, sir?"

I look over at Irina, who is looking me with one her infamous glares, "Can her mother come too?"

The nurse gave Irina a odd look, wondering why she would not come anyway, "Sure, this way."

Just as we are walking towards the ICU unit, Weiss says, "I'll ring Jack."

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The nurse stops just before we enter the room that Sydney is in and says, "I must warn you not to be worried about the amount of machines, they are just there to monitor her."

She lets us walk into the room, and I can see what she said the amount of machines around her can shock and then I see her. She had regained some colour from the last time I saw her but not much, she was still extremely pale. The nurse checked some of the monitors taking down on a chart what they said, she then put the chart at the end of the bed.

"Ring the buzzer, if you need anything." She says before leaving the room.

I sit down to the chair nearest to the bed and Irina grabs a chair from the corner of room places on the opposite side of the bed. I stare at Sydney for a moment, before taking her hand in mine and slowly rubbing my thumb over the back of her hand, willing her to get better, to wake up.

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It is like waking up from a deep sleep, except you do not dream. The last thing I remember are the lights of the hospital, and now I can hear voices, unrecognizable at first but slowly the voices get louder and come into focus; Vaughn, my father and my mother I can hear.

I slowly open my eyes, my eyelids feel like lead. I move my body slightly and become painfully aware of the pain in my abdomen, my eyes shoot open. The first thing I see is Vaughn, he slowly rises from his seat and his hand comes up and caresses my cheek. "Sydney?"

I hear my father and mother calling the nurse and saying 'Thank God' over and over again.

I bring my hand up to rest where Vaughn's hand is. I need to tell him;

"I'm sorry." I say with tears of relief and sadness forming in my eyes.

"For what?" He says, confusion in his voice.

"For... for Christopher, for all the things I..." I trail off as the nurse comes rushing in with a doctor.

The doctor and nurse begin to check the monitors around my bed, I am still a bit drowsy and as they busy around, I start to feel sleepy again, but with all my will power I try to stay awake. The doctor asks me a couple of questions about the pain and how I feel, he then tells me that I should get some more rest and that it would be best for my parents and Vaughn to leave. The doctor and nurse leave the room.

My father and mother both place a kiss on my forehead before leaving the room. "We will be back later."

Vaughn watches my parents leave, and then turns his attention back to me. Our eyes meet, the fear in his eyes is reflected in mine, it overwhelms and tears begin to fall, he rushes to my side.

"Vaughn..." I say in a whisper, "please be here when I...." He puts a finger over my lips to hush me.

"I'll be here... always."

If you come back in my life,

I'll be there till the end of time,

And I swear,

I'll keep you right by my side,

'Cos baby you're the one I want.

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The End


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